6 Month Review

Just like in a new job role there’s usually some awkward review at some point where you’ve given the new role a go and an overpaid manager decides whether or not you’re up to the task.

Well, I’m 6 months into Motherhood, a job I had no experience in (heck, I didn’t even like kids, sticky dribble sodden wee creatures). It’s a role I was never interviewed for and a new life I never expected or could have possibly imagined.

So, what have I learnt so far?

1. I took sleeping all night for granted and thought I was tired after working all day. Motherhood means I’m switched on ALL THE TIME. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The slightest peep from Olivia in the next room during the night and my eyes bolt open and I’m on high alert. It’s like I’m hard wired to her every waking moment and I can not shut it off. It is exhausting but yet comforting that I know there’s that bond between us. Who needs sleep anyway? If I could snort coffee and shoot up some red bull though, I totally would. 

2. My body is different. My belly button looks like a lived in sad vagina and my stomach is littered with stretch marks. My boobs have had to stretch to accommodate ‘milkies’ so yes, I’m now left with a couple of spaniels lugs but it’s all good. I can deal with it. It makes me question how many kids I’ll have though or else I’d end up scratching my cracked nipples and shaving my ankles simultaneously.

3. Body fluids ain’t so bad. I’ve had shit in my hair, spew down my bare back, dribble in my mouth and I’m still breathing. I’ve also been trying to start a new trend where I walk around with dried in milk/spew on my shoulders. Hasn’t taken off yet though. 

4. I spend half my time trying to get her to go to sleep and once she’s sleeping I want to wake her up because I miss her. I also watch videos of her and look at her countless pictures when she’s napping. #InstaBaby 

5. There is no ‘me’ time anymore. I barely fake tan, my hair is usually tied back in some weird man bun creation, I only shave the bits of my body that will be on show – so ankles usually and I can’t remember the last time I had breakfast before 10am. As long as Olivia is clean, dressed, fed and happy then that’s when I’ll take my opportunity for a quick shower. 

6. I have never known love like this, that full on afraid I will actually bite her cheeks off kind of love. It’s electric and sometimes overwhelming that I know I’d do anything for her. Although if there’s a spider in her room and she asks me to get rid of it. Well, I’d chuck her in and bolt the door and sacrifice her – there’s a line. 

6 months in and I’ve learnt to love with my whole heart, I’ve cried because I sometimes felt like I can’t do it anymore, endured countless sleepless nights alone that feel never ending and wanting to chuck in the towel with breastfeeding over and over again.

I’m always told that this is the best age, her character is shining through and the days of breastfeeding are nearly done. I’m sad she’s not a newborn anymore but I’m even more excited about what’s to come. 

“The best way to make children good is to make them happy.”

I’ll try my best. 

Here’s to the next 6 months, Happy 1/2 Birthday Turtle.